Jules, Grendel, and Bubba

All, Inner Child, Journal, Magic, Philosophy, Poetry, Psychology, Self-Actualizing

In every adult there lurks a child —
an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention and education, that is part of the human personality which wants to develop and become whole.

~ Carl G. Jung

The dragons were handed down:
Demons men before me didn’t slay

“Man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains” –
Not quite, Rousseau

As I happen to know, vice is handed down,
Addictions run in families like rivers

And when the tide is high,
They overrun the banks and wash away all that is

And these pathologies, these addictions, these deficiencies, go deeper than chemicals,
They are attachment patterns

Love is taught,
By example

Imprinted upon us,
And sometimes we are left with a depression

Rather than an impression,
So life is like a game of chirades

Where we walk around oblivious to our own disfunctions [sic],
But find them in others instead

When Jung said, “there is no coming to consciousness without pain,”
He knew, you only get wet in the rain

And when you’ve suffered long enough,
You’ll come in

Bitter and cold and shaking,
But you’ll come in

And if you follow the keepers of the light,
You’ll find the keys hidden by the pharisees

And if you look within, vis a vis these keys,
You’ll have come into contact with a few creatures of permanent validity:

Shadow / the dark side:
A hairyman; iron john; grendel; edward scissorhands

Anima or animus (soul) / the bridge:
Inward self of opposite gender

And at the inmost…

Inner child / the light side:
Pure light; innocence; vulnerability

Each of these energies has many gifts,
Which you must utilize and interact with, but I say one above the others…

Yes, you need shadow and anima to be whole,
Between light and dark, masculine and feminine…

But without inner child integration into your psyche,
You can not have inner peace

And I’m no PHD;
Poet, but take it from me:

Inner child has the eyes to see,
Inner insight

Path to the light,
Ways to engage shadow healthily

Playfulness,
Anima needs – and ‘needs’ is the word

For inner child knows your needs,
But inner child also knows your wants…

We’re getting into some good magic here,
But there’s a catch

Inner child has long been neglected,
Ignored –

Which is not to say shadow and anima are without their wounds

They are very wounded,
But inner child must be freed, cared for, loved, adorned – firstly

Inner child knows the wounds of the shadow
And of anima too

But they know not the pain of the innmost,
Wounded, vulnerable, neglected inner child

Because if you’re going to be whole, if this life is to be worthwhile,
You need to spend more time with inner child than never or every once in awhile

Inner child needs safe space to play,
And a narrative myth formed by Self to make life a game

Self we have not touched on,
For this is the outer and I deal in the inner

But I say Self is the sum,
As balanced or imbalanced – between shadow, anima, and inner child – as we are

Do you see how useless words like ego are?
When we can touch, talk to, and listen to the wounded parts of what we are?

We are an animal: shadow
We are repressed expression, sexuality: anima
We are a divine being: inner child

And none of us are without these individual pieces of our selves,
None of us are free from mortal coil

Only we never have a map,
Are never taught the multiplicity of our being

And this is mostly Jung,
But it’s also everything I know

For I’m learning to dialogue with and integrate these parts of myself into me
Wolf Waldo Black, Lawrence Black:

My Anima is Jules
(After Julian Casablancas, also: pun on jewels)

My Shadow is Grendel,
(The beast in Beowolf)

My Inner Child is Bubba
(A child nickname from my Mom)

So this is me:
Jules, Grendel, and Bubba

We’re quite the trinity,
Holy you might say

When we work together,
Neglecting not another

Communicating through Self,
Me, running queries to each of these human softwares through the command-line of self-inquiry

Interacting with each,
Allowing each part to express safely through me

Because when I only listen to self,
I break my heart again, hurt them

And for Jules, Grendel, and Bubba – for me,
I’m sorry, but I can’t do that (robot voice)

As a postscript:

Quit looking for your “higher self” – if something or someone is ‘higher’ or ‘above and beyond’ your inner child, your priorities are fucked; look within or be without. The light has always been within you, rather it is you that have been without [yourself].

Okay, Okay

All, Inner Child, Journal, Poetry

family loves me, friends love me,
everything is okay
have a house, bills are paid,
everything is okay
work and food on plate,
everything is okay
have a mission, a vision, a purpose,
everything is okay
am young l.cohen, young p.roth, young j.steinbeck – have exes,
books in progress,
everything is okay,
got poetry, renter’s insurance
everything is okay,
no court case, no warrants,
everything is okay,
am alive and well, take many vitamins, probiotics,
everything is okay,
warm clothes, soft bed,
everything is okay,
home again, in my head,
everything is okay.

And everything is going to be okay, okay.

Soothesayer

All, Poetry

It’s a night for a poem,
For my soul aches for petty pretty things,
And I can’t find a song to soothe,
Not even ‘The Only Living Boy in New York’,
So I’ll be the soothesayer,
To comfort my star wars bones
On this planet alone
Searching for my kind,
And they’re all so detached;
Our parents fucked up love for all of us,
And their parents for them,
Most will do it again
All for a chase of the love they never had,
That’s what makes people dysfunctional,
For the functional are secure
And a misery of rejection for the dejected:
Contrasted with a misery of codependence as escape;
No center balance,
Person is falling into void;
Self-esteem destroyed
The hunger is real,
Thirst pales;
We truly want for them,
To fill us in
Where we cannot be seen,
We grasp into a vacuum:
Space:
Our own emptiness:
Seeing itself in them,
And we are so drawn in,
Lost in them;
The moth burns in the flame
We never win in this dark mirror game;
For there is light in a being of light,
Otherwise, none.