Avatar Master

All, Journal, Poetry, Psychology, Self-Actualizing

There are two main pieces of me:
The boy, a child-god, who lives on the inside
And the man, an animal, who lives on the outside;
The boy, omnipotent yet a god, imaginary…
The man, capable yet a man, flesh…
The age old question:
How to reconcile these opposites (The magical and the rational), which often pull us apart, unhealthily, for years,
Lifetimes…
I think it starts with consciously integrating these archetypes into our self – as our poles:
The Anakin and the Obi Wan,
The puer (or puella) and the senex:
The eternal boy and the wise old man (or woman) –
The two opposing modes of self, which, if left unconscious, inevitably live at odds,
And are then felt only in the quiet pain of unspoken misery…
These two sets of energies express (In opposite directions or as a split within us) whether we are aware of their existence and influence or not…
To bring them into consciousness, to open the possibility for a truly symbiotic, regenerative dynamic of self,
This is the begenning of something mystical, healing
Like the power-filled magical interplay of male and female selves made conscious…
Puer and senex are not mere metaphors to understand but deep-seated truths [realities] to be lived,
Powers to be used,
Life forces to be loved, felt, expressed, and cared for, in the sum we call “I” – But united, whole, and undividedly honest;
For the boy deserves a real life and the man deserves outer security,
And so they must exist consciously with one another,
In the service of the living one,
Who, slave no more,
Becomes their diety,
Avatar and master.

Music I am Feeling: Nahko Bear and Medicine For the The People, Trevor Hall, and some etc.

All, Music

This past year, I listened to a lot of Little Peep, Travis Scott, Popcaanand a bunch of reverb + slowed songs; however, I’ve suddenly become aware that there is a much better soundtrack to my life out there. Not that I am hating on the above artists, as I will still listen to them (They are a part of my soundtrack too.), but there are seasons for things. My season for being “hooked on feeling good” – to borrow from Travis Scott – is over. As I remarked recently, “I’ve given up happy for peaceful”, which isn’t to say I am unhappy – au contraire – I am happier than ever, because I have more peace and self-awareness than I’ve ever had. And to that end, I’ve changed the channel in my brain from trap to vibes music.

Two artists have really led this change in me: Nahko and Medicine for The People and Trevor Hall.

Here are two fantastic songs from Nahko and Medicine For the People:

And from Trevor Hall, my favorite album right now: The Fruitful Darkness – a truly meaningfilled listening experience:

I can’t say enough of the above album. I always enjoyed Lime Tree, but this is on another level. This is straight soul medicine.

And lastly, I have to give a shout out to John Mayer. Not that he needs me as a fan, but his music has carried me through my adult life. From Continuum, which carried me through the big breakup with the first love at 23, to Born and Raised, which carried me through another big transition in life in my late twenties. Today his catalog remains in heavy rotation for me, along with Van Morrison’s work. Two bedrock artists for me.

While I don’t typically post music, I really wanted to share these artists (Nahko + Trevor Hall), as they have empowered me greatly and truly enhanced the quality of my days. I wish the same for you.

p.s. James Vincent McMorrow’s Post Tropical, Deluxe Edition has also been a very good friend to me. Listening to it is akin to cuddling with myself. 

Edit: Had to add I Am, by Satsang : )

 

For Money We Do.

All, Journal, Poetry

I burned all my walking sticks tonight, like old crutches

And I burned a book called The Veneral Game too
This, also, literally
It sells for $187 on amazon
Value is subjective, truly
I found the book not worth the paper it was on
And I’m glad I burned it,
Because, had I known what it sold for, I would have sold it

A betrayal of values
But for money, we do

LMFAO.

Journal: A Chance to Live True to Yourself

All, Journal

In the bath, listening to Nickel Creek. It’s music I’ve listened to since I was a teenager. As is Fiona Apple ‘s ‘Tidal’ – my favorite album – another classic for bath tunes. Last night I listened to Les Miserable, RENT, and the Hamilton soundtrack. Smoking my bong, singing along, splashing in the bath. These are things you do when you live alone in the mountains and you’re me. Long hair don’t give a fuck; I am a transient coyote.

And although we mistrust the loner – unsure whether he’s a beast or a god – we know there is something authentic in him. The deep strength cultivated in elective solitude is apparent in the independent person – as is their character. They cannot hide themselves. But ‘in the end, of course, you end up becoming yourself’. I just wish someone would have told me that it would happen. That I would arrive to selfhood not only intact but stronger than most people, different in good, uncommon ways.

If you want to accuse me of egoism, go ahead. So many worse things than self-love – no matter how much of a sin they made it. I’d rather be in love with myself than not. But there are, of course, different ways to love oneself. There is a puffed-up love of self and then there is a real romance, a real appreciation of You – the person you are.

There’s a fantastic quote attributed directly to Jesus, from the Thomas Gospel that inspires pure, healthy self-love in me:

“Seek the living one while you are alive, lest you die and are unable to see him.”

And the living one is me. The living one is you. The living one is the being we have incarnated as. And the only time we have with ourselves in this form is in this life.

So, yes, I seek the living one. That’s what solitude gives you, time with yourself. As I said to Sarah, “If we ever moved back in together, we would need our own ‘wings’ of the house.”

I am proud of myself. It’s almost a miracle to be living by oneself at thirty-three – at least for me.

It’s just me and the next ten years. Me and my dreams. Naked and unafraid – touching myself, thinking of no one. Knowing that what most people care about is stupid.

The Tao is alive in me. The feminine-senex energy there is so wise and non-combative.

As the Tao says, “Stop thinking and end your problems.”

There’s a point that suffering is transcended. It’s when we realize that it is elective. That we can choose instead to feel good is not an insignificant fact.

I am a composting vegetarian. People change. Particularly those who find the suffering intolerable – these are the people who truly suffer. The melodramatic is in a far deeper level of hell than the Stoic.

But, ultimately, responsibility affords us power, which brings freedom. I am responsible for how I feel, so what others think or do is unimportant outside of what it teaches me about people. And there are all kinds of people in this world. There is, in-fact, every kind of person in this world.

But life has never been much different anthropologically for me than high school. Same people. And I’m the same person. There’s a dye that colors the fibers of people. The tiger cannot change his stripes. But as some ancient once quipped, “A bad man is nothing more than a good man’s job.” There are sides in this empire. Cheers to former CIA Director Brennan, and all others on the right side of history. America, what the actual Nixonian fuck. But people have always loved bad leaders. That’s what happens when the shadow isn’t confronted, it comes to the light where history must then reconcile with it.

And besides some very vapid, manipulative, ugly persons, the rest is really just ignorance. That and mental health. The collective neurosis that is religion. Christ, how many children did the Catholic Church molest and rape in Pennsylvania… This is the shadow. This is the problem with “goodness” over wholeness. Why do you think these Cosby, 7th Heaven Dad types turn out to be the opposite? Because that guy doesn’t exist. He’s a liability to himself. The church created these monsters. I would not go to a Christian Church to find good, whole people. It’s actually typically a warning to me that the person might be really full of shit. And I recognize these are not mild, correct, diplomatic positions to take, but I can not take any other. In good conscience, I am here to tell you that man should have never been an archetype for god, but, rather, god should be an archetype for man. He / She / They / Them / Us, were all created in our image rather than us in theirs.

The whole paradigm of the creator-god makes us, to me, almost sub-human. As a species, we should look to reason, to empirical evidence, and we should see that we are the epoch of the universe, the vanguard, the echo of the big bang. We are the universe – along with every other living thing. We evolved from fish, from the ocean – one bone, two bones, many bones – our tetrapod limbs evidence this.

We are animals. Like dolphins or James Cameron’s Na’avi people, in Avatar.

Now, as to the nature of life – whether it’s a simulation – I am outgrowing that model. I’m more of the mind of Joseph Campbell, who believed that “Energy and consciousness are the same thing, somehow.”

It is our minds that run the simulation. Our thoughts that inform our programs, our cultures that inform our software. So, to me, the value in the simulation paradigm is in the subjectivity of it. Heaven or hell are in the dreamer.

Of course, reality is very thick and it’s not easy to outgrow our situations, ourselves, but discontent does its magic work. You learn to take control of the Vanilla-Sky-esque dream again – but only after the nightmare has gotten bad enough to wake you. How I pity and love my younger self. I was such a poor, impoverished bastard. The song ‘Happy’ by Marina and The Diamonds tells the story of going from the sadness of the nightmare to the freedom of the dream.

“I found what I’ve been looking for in myself.”

That’s it.

That’s the godhead. That’s the completeness of a happy child.

Security in oneself – without comparison. As the Tao says, “By making some things beautiful we make other things ugly.” So too in making some things desirable we make other things undesirable. In this way, our values can completely rob us of what is. Gratitude is wealth experienced subjectively. The problem arises when what is beautiful, when what is desirable, is outside of us. Then we are impoverished.

To love life as it is and nothing more. Is this not bliss.

To want everything to be different is to be as unhappy as an angsty teenager again. It is only when we start to grow into ourselves that we can begin to appreciate what is. It is at this point when we start to appreciate ourselves, our lives – for better or for worse, that we stop wishing for it all to change.

Not to say we stop dreaming or become holy wanderers, but we take our place in time – as present in our lives, neither wishing for the past nor longing for the future. Like, I am here. And I’m here to follow my purpose and live my dreams, but the dream is just that – a chance to live true to yourself.

Bosom Promise / Transient Coyotes, Home: Unafraid.

All, Journal, Poetry

I met the coyotes,
Past two days

Today I was out deep –
Knew it was deep when the grade got steep –
Met two in a thicket,
Tall as wolves
Their heads turned (For me!),
And I yelled, “Git, skat! Skidaddle!” LOL…
And I turned back down the mountain,
Away from their territory

But they’ve been with me since, goddamnit they have

As yesterday, when I alone, to the east, and he alone, to the west, passed,
In silent gaze, amazement
Mutual caution, timeless wildness,
He like me, Me like he:
Loners, Transient Coyotes
Both with our reasons

That bosom promise of a den we’ve never seen,
Which calls us to go on, nobly enough – unafraid.

Postscript:

I dream of them, in their den tonight, living as they have for millenia – and I think of them out there, and I think of me here – and there’s something connected – this great metaphor of the wild-masculine and the journey back home, to wholeness, to the den-heart and all that matters. But also, the boldness of going it alone to get there – but also of being here, of knowing that on my way home is also home.

Organized Religion Sucks Major Balls

All, Ancient Wisdom, Magic, Personal Mythology, Philosophy, religion, Ritual, spirituality, Timeless Truths

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful.”

– Lucias Annaeus Seneca, 4BC – AD65

There are really only a few major religious myths that have survived the ages, and it’s really quite something that these stories have endured for billions of people, but you’ve probably been one of them at one point or another, or are now. And, if you’re relatively tolerant, you can recognize the cultural and personal values these religions provide; however, the older I get and the more I study world history, the more I view religion as a net-negative for humanity and a blight on the personal psyche.

It’s reality control (Heaven and hell). It’s self-worth control (You’re a sinner, homosexuality is a sin, and on and on). I mean, have you spent any time with a baby; do you think that babies are “born in sin”?

Let me say it point blank: religion is absolutely fucking twisted, and it always has been. Nothing has crushed the human animal and taken the sheen and organic beauty off of human culture more than organized religion.

I recently read a story that illustrated this dehumanization so poignantly to me.

In Northern China, in Mongolia, there exists an ethnic minority called the Oroqen people. While there are an estimated 8,000 Oroqen, their religion is dead – gone with the last Oroqen shaman, who died in 2000.

From wikipedia:

Until the early 1950s the main religion of the nomadic Oroqen was shamanism. In the summer of 1952 cadres of the Chinese communist party coerced the leaders of the Oroqen to give up their “superstitions” and abandon any religious practices. These tribal leaders, Chuonnasuan (Meng Jin Fu) and Zhao Li Ben, were also powerful shamans. The special community ritual to “send away the spirits” and beg them not to return was held over three nights in Baiyinna and in Shibazhan.

Absolutely heartbreaking. A real life parable to James Cameron’s Avatar myth and the Na’vi beings. Here, you can try and displace blame on the communist party, but it was always the leaders who gave religion its power, who blessed its crusades.

The shaman has been made extinct almost worldwide and the shamanic post usurped by the priest, the pastor, the rabbi, and other authorized and sanctioned channels. The travesty here, being not only the death of ancient and true ways of life, but the gatekeeping of our pathways to the soul (I touched on this idea back in 2015, here).

But the more I learn, the more I see there are a whole host of truly beautiful, powerful, even magical things that religion has blotted out from human consciousness.

Religion has intently made taboo some of the most precious, naturalistic human knowledge: sexual, spiritual, metaphysical – entheogenic.

They turned our ancestor’s gods into devils and made humanity a sin.

Magic and Witchcraft were painted black and remain stained thousands of years after they were deemed “evil.” Let me tell you, those witches and their flying ointment were doing what the shamans were doing, which is to say, going off into darkness to bring back what we forgot.

But since only the priest can dole out truth, they burned them at the stake, casting them into a literal “hell”. This contributed to the western idea that women were inferior, not only socially but spiritually; many prehistoric and ancient religions were goddess worshipping, but no major religion is today. Many of the goddess deities were painted as evil and associated with demons, playing on very powerful human fears.

Magic was also associated with the demonic and too was cannibalized by organized religion. Rituals and sacred rites that nourished humans for millennia were absolutely forbidden. The viewing of outside beliefs as magic led to a whole lot of “We, as good Christians, have a right to enslave and govern these ‘savages'”. Magic became a curse. Even modern associations with the mere word “occult” do the ancient and timeless traditions of magic a gross disservice.

Theurgy – an entire practice of rituals, often magic in nature, with the intent of uniting oneself with the devine – has been wiped from mainstream human consciousness.

There isn’t a primitive society that didn’t begin with magic, but there are no religions for magic because magic is personal rather than social.

When I say magic, I am referring to rites and rituals rather than illusion or stage magic, as we think of it today. Paleolithic cave paintings were thought to have been a form of magic, designed to influence the hunt (Not much different than today’s Special Forces being trained in “mental rehearsal.”).

Religion borrowed it’s power and its symbols from magic (ex: The Star of David is the hexagram representing the perfect union of masculine and feminine.) but didn’t share it. Almost as if to say, “Only we, The Church, can influence the outcome of things.

I have a deep haunting suspicion that organized religion’s spiritual and psychological control over man was far more disempowering for the human being than we know. This notion is similar to the idea of Obscurantism, in which knowledge is deliberately hidden from those outside the “elite”.

“The essential element in the black art of obscurantism is not that it wants to darken individual understanding, but that it wants to blacken our picture of the world, and darken our idea of existence.”

– Fredrich Nietzsche

And I think our idea of existence, of ourselves, has been grossly darkened. The mere invention of satan and the demonic has cast a shadow over all humanity that many will live their entire lives under.

Constantine, the first Christian emperor of Rome, who shut down all the cities sexual temples and converted his people to Christianity, believed he himself was a god, a “superhuman avatar”. This gives you a likely idea of the mentality behind the people who pushed religion on their subjects; “I am a god, but you are all cattle.”

Whether my ideas strike people as conjecture or valid – or whatever – I care not; I am here to reclaim to real-estate in my soul that I have been forced to be a mere tenant-farmer of by way of organized religion’s grip on the collective consciousness, and, thusly, the individual’s consciousness.

Organized religion is in the core software of the matrix, like consumerism and vanity are. Only religion isn’t behaviorism, it’s mind control – it’s what controls behavior.

Look at how the religious right votes and what they value (And don’t say “family” lol). They value a divisive, morally toxic system of judgement that, by its own virtue, renders them immune from conscience. I can tell you, Jesus would not be a fan of fox news.

In fact, his namesake religion is very far from his teachings if you place any value in the Thomas Gospel, which contains the secret sayings of the living Jesus. The church places no stock in this historical document, but it’s worth the read to those who view Jesus on the level of Buddha, as an enlightened person.

I’m getting off track and it’s late but I can tell you, my opinions didn’t come from sitting around and being pissed off – they came from a lot of reading and a unique life experience that has given me a chance to shape my voice for what I believe to be absolutely true, with a capital T.

It has been said that the second job of the artist is to crate myth, but the first job is to destroy it.

I believe in the divinity of humanity. I believe in the sacred and powerful nature of the soul, but I do not believe god is up there watching me masturbate to some serious porn.

Most of the ancient cultures were animists or pantheistic – and certainly polytheistic. This idea of one god, separate from us is a tyranny that needs to die within us so we can begin to live.

As it happens in myself, I’m discovering a level of peace and open minded rationality that I never knew before. I’m also starting to practice some self-generative magic rituals that are having a phenomenal impact on my being. It was actually my intent to write about those magic rituals tonight, but I guess before I created myth, I had to do some work in destroying it.

TBD

All, Happiness, Journal, motivation, MyFavoritez, Personal Mythology, Poetry, Psychology, Self-Actualizing

A person asks who they are,
Who might they become…
And years are lost this way,
Spent in abstact thought rather than concrete action

To declare ourselves
As hero and author of our story,
In deed rather than word,
Is to know we are not who we think we are
But what we are, as we have made ourselves.

Welcoming The Prince of Darkness and Freeing ‘Iron John’

All, Darkness, humanity, Journal, MyFavoritez, Philosophy, Psychology, spirituality

I recently read The Satanic Bible out of curiosity and with some interest in the philosophy contained therein. Satanism is basically a naturalistic pro-human philosophy blending humanism with anti-religious sentiment – add in some Ayn Rand and some Epicureanism, and a dash of magic and pomp, and that’s basically it.

The contents aren’t likely to strike any liberal-minded person as outrageous or shocking, and overall, it’s a sane, rational philosophy. It’s worth noting that Satanists do not worship Satan, but rather view Satan as “…the personification of the left-hand path”.

While Satanism is sometimes amoral, it is in no way explicitly immoral. No harming of animals unless for food or defense, no unwanted sexual advances. It is indeed rational.

According to wikipedia,”… two major trends are theistic Satanism and atheistic Satanism. Theistic Satanists venerate Satan as a supernatural deity, viewing him not as omnipotent but rather as a patriarch. In contrast, atheistic Satanists regard Satan as merely a symbol of certain human traits.”

The Satanic Bible, while religious, is not theistic, viewing satan as the symbol of human qualities rather than as a literal entity.

As an archetype, His Satanic Majesty (Love that one), is fascinating. Religious guilt indeed exists in the psyche, and so too does the devil – a concept invented by the church. You could call Satan the shadow of the church – a scapegoat, but he’s really the shadow of the human being. And, of course, there is always buried gold in the shadow. But what’s worse, is that putting the darkside in the shadow only leads to a more vicious cycle of disfunction via repression. We somehow think an out of sight, out of mind attitude is the best approach to mitigating darkness, but we’ve all seen numerous cases of “holy”, “wholesome” types with terribly huge shadows. Know any religious types? Repression is a bitch.

Religion – in my opinion – is bad programming, and clearly not an effective vehicle for a virtuous society. The human-centeredness of Satanism provides a far better tao for the person who would rather be whole than good. And while we separate the god and devil archetypes, they are fundamentally entwined within the human psyche – two sides of the same coin, inseparable from each other just as you are inseparable from yourself.

Satanism is sex positive and self-positive. But it’s best quality is dissolving unnecessary guilt over your own animal-like nature.

One of my favorite ideas from The Satanic Bible follows:

“Repressed hatred can lead to many physical and emotional ailments. By learning to release your hatred towards those who deserve it, you cleanse yourself of these malignant emotions and need not take your pent-up hatred out on your loved ones.”

The core tenet of Satanism is not evil, but survival. To that end it is not a philosophy of passive, pacifism. For example, if someone attacks you, you are advised to “destroy them”. Not a comforting illusion but an honest look at life and human nature.

For the record, I am not a Satanist, but Satanism is a minor part of my philosophy. I neither wish to live in guilt nor fear, nor with a large part of my nature repressed.

Alan Watts liked to espouse the view that we are god, which I enjoy, as I believe in Carlye’s “divinity of humanity”; however, if we are god, we are also Satan. There’s a nondual relationship of yin and yang at play, light and dark.

I recall someone once saying to me, “Why would I want to kill my ego, why would I want to kill a part of myself?”, and that’s close to my own views on the Satan archetype, “Why would I want to condemn and abandon a part of myself?”

My darkside, my wounds, my demons, need love too – perhaps most of all.

Satan is lonely. He’s like Scary Terry on Rick and Morty, a monster we invented. Not even us – the church – but one only needs to see the lasting impact of Milton’s Paradise Lost or Dante’s Divine Comedy, to understand the timelessness of the devil and hell metaphors. And I generally think the mushroom strategy of leaving the darkness in the unconscious, feeding it shit, letting darkness live in darkness, is a pisspoor strategy for a whole life, for a complete, self-aware being.

I want daemons not demons.

Demon cones from the word daimon, the latin translation of the greek daimon (δαίμων), meaning: “god”, “godlike”, “power”, “fate”), which originally referred to a lesser deity or guiding spirit; the daemons of ancient Greek religion and mythology and of later Hellenistic religion and philosophy.

And one of religion’s big tricks is appropriating things, in this case, robbing us of the myth and magic of the daemon (Lucifer was a pagan god). Another one of religion’s tricks is control via guilt and fear. Sick shit. Really.

There’s a great little fairytale that I liken to Satan’s existence in the shadow. It’s the Grimm’s Brothers / Robert Bly story of Iron John. Essentially, it’s a story about a boy becoming a man with the help of a wild / hairy man, named Iron John (Eisenhans).

When the story begins Iron John is feared and considered very dangerous, but the boy frees him. Now, turns out, Iron John is a powerful being with many treasures. In the end, Iron John loses all his hair and ironlike skin and reveals he was under enchantment until he found someone worthy and pure of heart to set him free.

The prisoner is us. We just call it Satan.

But that Satan further personafied in man is Iron John.

Here is the story’s ending:

And as they were sitting at the marriage-feast, the music suddenly stopped, the doors opened, and a stately king came in with a great retinue. He went up to the youth, embraced him and said, “I am Iron Hans”, and was by enchantment a wild man, but you have set me free. All the treasures which I possess, shall be your property.”

We are by enchantment of the devil myth “wild men”. We too can be set free, but we have to be willing to embrace the hairy man, the daemon within the demon. And if we can do this, there will indeed be treasure for us. The spiritual and psychological liberation and the further integration of self promise untold riches for us. Things we cannot understand from the shadow. It was Jung who said, “We do not become enlightened beings by bringing light to the dark but by bringing the dark to light.

Physician, heal thyself. Repair your glowing soul, and learn to love the scapegoat that’s been beat to shit. That’s Iron John.

I’ll close with a quote from Satinism founder Anton Levey, “There is a beast in man that needs to exercised, not exorcised.”

Edit: Just came across this, in an Alan Watts audio:

“One of the very great things that C.G. Jung contributed to mankind’s understanding was the concept of the shadow – that everybody has a shadow, and that the main task of the psychotherapist is to do what he called ‘to integrate the evil,’ to, as it were, put the devil in us in its proper function, because, you see, it’s always the devil – the unacknowledged one – the outcast, the scapegoat, the bastard, the bad guy, the black sheep of the family, it’s always from that point, which we could call ‘the fly in the ointment’ that generation comes. In other words, in drama, to have the play it’s necessary to introduce a villain, it’s necessary to introduce a certain element of trouble. So, in the whole scheme of life there has to be the shadow, because without the shadow there can’t be the substance, so this is why there is a very strange association between crime and all naughty things and holiness. You see, holiness is way beyond being good, good people aren’t necessarily holy people. A holy person is one who is whole – who has, as it were, reconciled his opposites. And so there’s always something slightly scary about holy people, and other people react to them in very strange ways, they can’t make up their minds whether they are saints or devils, and so holy people, throughout history, have always created a great deal of trouble, along with their creative results, take Jesus for example.”

Satan’s Loneliness

All, Poetry

Woke to a map of Mexico on my desk
Newton’s world on my chest…

I am a satan to myself,
The immortal adversary
Irrational, passionate –
My most potent emotions my lowest, the finer qualities still wanting…
Would she be lucky?
My exes hate me
But now I want to know,
Genuinely want to know
What about what I was or what I wasn’t was that bad,
What made my qualities irredeemable,
What made me dead, ?lo que me mató?

I’m out here trying to birth a gentleman from wild west genetics
The pestilent past, full of fuckery, unspiritual things
And now these chips on my shoulder, these pieces of me,
How will they be turned to advantage,
How will the way out be written, seen
And will I have to die to myself too?

Are these past lovers just that classy and me that trashy…
Me not worth knowing
It’s a goddamn crime;
I wanted to be free so I pretended I didn’t have a shadow, and in doing so,
Gave myself one

So I have to figure out how to remember I’ve been forgotten,
So I don’t get lost;
For what is unconscious posesses us, and the light doth sanitize
And what writer was ever a simple lover but a bad one
Maybe I’m supposed to be as polyamourous as my gods
But I am not meant to be forgotten, killed off in your finale, cast down from your heaven;
I baphomet, serpent of the garden,
Know the loneliness of the exile that is hell